He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
