im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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