hell yes lets make some ravioli
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
