Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
