We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
