five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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