just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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