the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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