Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
