Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry about my life...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
