If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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