Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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