Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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