you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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