My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
