Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
