i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
