Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The dick lei will go down in squad history
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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