Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
