Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
