So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
