you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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