Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
