My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
