Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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