We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
