Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
