it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
