chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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