Small penises have feelings too.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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