like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
