No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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