I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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