He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
