Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
