So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
