Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
