I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
