is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
