I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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