We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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