You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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