just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
