your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to make a zoo with you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
