dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
