We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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