So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
