I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
