do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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