my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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