I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
