Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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