Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have post one night stand depression
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