how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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