I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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