apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
